Post by Rowan Peterson on Feb 7, 2011 20:59:40 GMT -5
Rowan smiled, pausing a second in her walking. She tipped her face upwards, fat raindrops falling and splattering on her face, her hair, her shoulders. The early evening was darker than normal, the rising moon and the first twinkling stars of the night obscured by the heavy, darkly ominous storm clouds that had hung heavy and pregnant in the sky all day. They’d only begun to break, letting loose their loads of tiny raindrops, barely fifteen minutes before but the rain was already pattering down in thick torrents. If she concentrated, really concentrated, blocking everything and anything but the falling rain out of her mind, she could see, almost recognize in a way, each individual droplet; she could break them down with just her mind, just her eyes, seeing the beauty of each individual molecule, each atom that made up the whole. Her laughter rang out, bright and clear, in the night and, in one of those rare moments she sometimes had, she fully appreciated what exactly she was. It really hit her at these times just how much more, exactly, she got to experience than every other normal, every-day person.
Lowering her head and shaking it violently, dispelling the scattering of rain that had collected on her hair, she picked up her walking once more. She’d headed out as soon as she’d noticed the first raindrop hit the window-pane of her dorm room. Call her weird, but she absolutely adored the rain. People who were outside were mostly rushing by, covering themselves with sweaters or umbrellas, but she just kept walking away from the school. She planned to stay out as long as she could before she got too soaked and looked like a drowned rat. That definitely wasn’t a look she wanted after all but that didn’t make her carry an umbrella any more than she normally would’ve. She liked the feel of the water hitting her skin, dropping onto her clothes and her hair. There was just something comforting about it, about rain in general. Everywhere she looked, it was either empty, devoid of people or, if there were people, they were heading to the school, no doubt eager to be inside where it was warm and cozy and dry.
The coolness of the night didn’t bother her one bit though. In fact, she barely noticed it. The thin sweater she’d worn that day wasn’t particularly warm as far as clothing went but she’d never been all that sensitive to warmth or coldness. It must just be another facet of what she was, now that she paused to think about it. Of course, Rowan being Rowan, she mulled it over for all of about fifteen seconds. It wasn’t a real fun topic, not all that interesting. The only thing that interested her about how she was was knowing what she could and couldn’t do and it was a lot more fun to figure that out in the moment, by experience and not insight.
Pulling out a golden cigarette case and a matching lighter from the pocket of her jeans, she looked around. That was the only downfall of the rain, she’d decided recently. It made smoking a heck of a lot harder to do. Even one or two raindrops hitting the delicate paper covering of the cancer stick and it’d be near impossible to smoke. So, she did what she had done ever other time she’d wanted a cigarette whilst out in the rain – she looked for a relatively dry place to light it. There…she’d found one a few yards away. She picked up her pace, walking quickly towards a small clustering of trees. Their leaves were still in full harvest, the weather not yet cold enough to make them start dying, falling from the still barely living branches. The leaves were wet and heavy with the rain, small rivers sluicing their ways off the thick, waxy greenery but they were large and provided enough shelter for Rowan, who stood huddled by the trunk, to pull out a cigarette and light it without getting it wet. Cupping her hand around her smoke to keep it dry, she took a long drag as she pocketed the case and the lighter once more. She vaguely wondered if she should start walking again. She wasn’t in the mood to stay very still at the moment. After a few moments consideration though, the cigarette cupped loosely in her hand raised periodically up to her lips, she figured it was probably better to stay under the copse of trees for a bit more. At least until she finished her smoke at least. Better safe than sorry wasn’t a plan of action she followed all too often but it was the best choice of the moment, she decided.
So she stood, back against the large trunk of the tree she was nearest to, smoking and watching the rain patter down. It was pretty quiet this far out in the grounds, where she wasn’t right next to the school, where there was always some sort of chattering and talking going on. Don’t get her wrong or anything, she loved all the hustle and bustle of people and she normally contributed more than her fair share of the noise volume of any place she occupied but there were times, of course, where peace was just…nice. She couldn’t describe it any better than that but there were just times when peace and quiet, the still quiet that wasn’t threatening nor stifling but just felt right, was needed. And in the mist of what was shaping up to be a wonderful thunderstorm, if the streak of lightning in the sky she’d just momentarily seen hadn’t been all in her wistful thinking, quiet just seemed right. It was easy to imagine, at that moment, herself in some distant place. London, maybe, in decades past, fully done up in flouncy petticoats and corseted gowns, walking along cobble-stone streets. It had always been a frequent fantasy of hers and though she knew the Victorian era was far gone, she’d always dreamed of visiting London. In fact, it was one of the few goals the pretty aimless Rowan held.
Throwing the three-quarters gone smoke to the ground, where it made a faint sizzling noise on the wet ground and faded out, she stood still for a moment more. Should she walk farther or turn around and circle back up to the school? She wasn’t sure. She was enjoying being outside too much to want to go in but at the same time, she was sort of wishing she had some company. She should’ve invited someone to come walking with her but she hadn’t thought about it at the time. She was sort of regretting it now. She didn’t particularly like being alone all that much, not out of fear or paranoia or anything stupid like that (stupid only in her opinion, of course) but just because being alone for too long was boring and she certainly didn’t like being bored.
School and company or the beauty of the outdoors even if it meant solitude? It certainly was one hell of a tough choice.
tagged open to all
words 1, 192
music sunny came home – shawn colvin
outfit here
notes ah, it’s not the greatest but I hope I left enough there for someone to jump in
credit yikez itz kaitlyn of caution 2.0
